klepto love story

I found this on an old lj i used to post on. June 13th, 2001:

tiger woods begins his assault on the 101st u.s. open tomorrow. i hope he chokes. his father recently said that when tiger met nelson mandela that it was the first time tiger’s met a human that can compare to tiger. yeah ok earl. mandela spent 27 years in prison fighting apartheid in his country. tiger’s won two master’s tournaments. i can see where you would confuse the two. papa earl has also compared tiger to ghandi and jesus christ. yeah. tiger is standing up for human rights. he’s being imprisoned. i even saw him crucified once. but he bounced back with five straight birdies and a 65 on the last day of the tournament to eek out a win.

I bet Earl is rolling in his grave.

Working the night shift is weird. I tend to sit here at my desk and think about a lot of things. I think about how cynical I’ve become and how I don’t really like that fact. It’s this persona that I feel has taken over who I really am. I’m starting to miss the old me.

I’ve made a list of goals for next year. I’m not going to call them resolutions because I don’t think that really works (at least for me). So here are the goals for 2010:

• Spend less time online. I spend entirely too much time looking at stuff that doesn’t really matter on the internet. A reduction is definitely needed.
• Take better care of myself. This includes cutting down significantly on the number of sugared drinks and junk food. I’d like to exercise more and try out yoga. As laid back as I seem to be, there is a big ball of tension that rides just below the surface. I want some way of calming some of that and exercise and yoga might do the trick. I’d also like to lose 10 lbs but I think that will come as a result of the changes I want to make.
• Read more. I feel like I’ve sort of stopped reading. I used to love reading. I would read all day. In 2010 I’m going to set aside more time to find my love of reading again.
• Dress nicer. I’m a bit of a slob when it comes to my clothing. You’ll usually find me in jeans, a t-shirt with some sort of funny picture or saying on it, Chucks, and a Yankees cap (usually backwards). I’ve recently started wearing more sweaters and a nicer cut of jeans. It really does make me feel a little better about myself.
• Be more responsible at work. I tend to let my mind wander and end up looking like I’m not doing any work. I move back to the day shift on January 4th and I really want to make a better impression. Things have been a bit uncertain as of late around the ol’ workplace and anything I can do to make myself look better will help me out greatly.
• Lastly, I am going to try to be more positive in all aspects of my life…at work, at home, and with friends. I realize I’m a little hard to take at times and can be a bit of an asshole. Like I was saying earlier, it’s sort of a persona that I feel has taken over. It’s time to take it back.

I think all of those goals are able to be accomplished. If I can quit smoking (like I did this year) I think I should be able to do anything.

Yesterday was a beautiful New York day. Is it weird to be nostalgic for something you’ve never had?

Kristin, her parents, and I took the train in from Long Island. We made our way down to the sea port to stand in line for twofer tickets to a show. I didn’t really care what we saw as long as it wasn’t something like Shrek. I stood outside as I didn’t really understand this whole ticket process and didn’t want anyone (Kristin) to yell at me. They came out with the tickets and told me we had front row tickets for Hair. I was pretty excited!

We killed 8 hours walking around the city in the freezing cold, ducking into several places just to warm up for a few minutes.

It was time for the show. I’ve never been to a Broadway show. The theater was a lot smaller than I expected. Having been to a couple of touring shows at new theaters, I guess I expected the same. We found our seats on the front row. The stage was maybe three feet away.

The curtain dropped to the opening song, “Age of Aquarius”. For the next couple of hours I watched the stage transfixed on the actors. They were so incredible. There was audience interaction. We were given daisies. The show was wonderful. At the end the cast invited us on stage to dance to “Let the Sunshine In”. Kristin and I went up and danced and clapped and laughed. It was so much fun! What a great first show. There really is no place like New York.

Happy birthday Chairman. You were the best. If I weren’t working right now, I’d have a whisky in your honor (maybe when I get home).

Let me start by saying this: Don Rickles is not for everyone. If you are easily (or not so easily even) offended, don’t see the man. Tonight, I did.

Here’s the thing about Rickles…he’s a legend. He’s worked with Sinatra, Clint Eastwood, Johnny Carson, and was on just about every television show in the 1960s. He can insult people like no one else. Watching Don Rickles is like being transported back in time. From the big band that opens up the show to working the room in a tuxedo, he  just exudes old school. However, that old school also extends to his comedy. There are lots of ethnic jokes (“What are you? Italian? German?”), some gay jokes (“you a queer?”), and jokes that would’ve gone over well in post-war America. But you know all this going in. You know what to expect. It doesn’t make it any easier to take when you’ve grown up in a politically correct age. It’s all an act though. You can just tell it’s all in good fun.

It’s also a little sad watching this little old guy on the stage. Rickles is 83 years old. He’s one of the last of a dying breed, a link to those days of Sinatra and the Rat Pack. There were times he forgot a line in the song he was singing. He slipped a few times and told the same joke twice (he did catch himself though). It took him half a minute to pick up his mike off the stage floor. He still makes them laugh though. He’s a legend and I’m happy I got to see him.

Mr Warmth

My birthday was this weekend and it was a good one. On Thursday, Brendan and Alison came over and played Trivial Pursuit. Somehow I ended up drunk on red wine. I didn’t intend for it to happen but it did. I don’t drink wine much so it really sneaks up on me. Before long, I’m sloshed. It’s a nice feeling though.

Friday night was the first Christmas party of the season (an Italian themed dinner at Rachel and Laura’s). The food and company were both good. We played Christmas song pictionary which devolved into a bit of rauchiness (NSFW). Let’s just say never let someone like me try to draw “O Come All Ye Faithful”. At midnight, I was brought out a piece of cake with candles. We had lots of fun.

Saturday (my actual birthday) started with the Man City vs Chelsea match at Fado’s. It was a very exciting and nerve racking match that ended with City on top 2-1, a very nice birthday present and a great way to stop a run of seven draws. After that, Kristin and I went shopping for some warm clothes because neither of us really have any and we’re going to New York on the 16th. I picked up some nice sweaters and a great tweed hat for a little over half off. I’ve been trying to dress a little nicer lately and the stuff I bought Saturday really did look good.

That night we went to dinner at Estancia Churrascaria or as I called it MEAT FEST 2009. It was insane. Basically you sit at your table with a little coaster. One side is red, the other green. When you want meat, you flip the coaster to the green side. Guys with meat on spears come up and say, “Excuse me sir, would you like X”. My answer was always an emphatic, “YES, yes I would like X”. There was bacon wrapped chicken and bacon wrapped filet mignon, top sirloin, bottom sirloin, pork ribs, beef ribs, and leg of lamb. My favorite, however, was picanha. We don’t typically have this cut of meat in grocery stores. My Brazilian friend Luiz says this is the best cut of meat and after having it, I can’t dispute that. It was really tasty.

After dinner it was off to Ginger Man. Brendan brought along some Gingerbread cookies, one of which said “FUCK YOU” made special for me. I think everyone was tired after the meat carnival and we called it an early night at around midnight.

It was a great birthday weekend. I forgot to mention that Kristin bought me some really nice Wusthof knives for my birthday. I tried them out on some garlic and cut it paper thin. If you think a good knife makes a difference then you’ve never used one. They are amazing.

Let’s do a post Clint Eastwood style.

The Good:

• Manchester City vs Arsenal in the Carling Cup. City won 3-0 and advanced to the semi-final where they will face The Scum, aka Manchester United.
• 1st Wok’s chicken fried rice. This stuff may make me appreciate Chinese food. Even good on day 2.
• The dance performed by Jakob and Ellenore on So You Think You Can Dance. Video Evidence:
  
  The song was Oona and Dave Tweedie – Tore My Heart, which was also good.

The Bad:

• Work. I don’t think my boss likes me much and there isn’t much I can do about it. I guess I just have to do my work and not worry about it.
• Getting my first “Copyright Complaint” for a movie I bittorrented (Funny People for those playing along at home). It was more of a warning so I’m not worried.
• Having to turn on the heater at home. I was hoping to make it to January at least before turning it on but it was really cold a couple of nights ago. I think it was 59 degrees INSIDE the house. A bit of good with the bad though, we only needed it on for about half an hour and we were warm again.

The Ugly:

• Kristin and I watched Hoarders on Monday. That show almost literally made me sick. The lady had dead cat carcasses IN HER HOUSE! The worst part is she wasn’t even aware that they were there. It was absolutely disgusting. She wasn’t even appreciative of the help she was receiving. It did however make me feel better about the dishes in my sink. At least I don’t have dead cats buried under trash in my house (yet).

If my internet viewing habits influence my dreams (as they did yesterday: I was taken prisoner by Nazis), then today’s dream will involve post apocalyptic landscapes while people dance to Radiohead music (mostly off of Kid A) while wearing baby brain cooling devices. This should make for some interesting dreams.