Best TV Show I saw: It was premiere week so there were lots of good things. How I Met Your Mother, Heroes, Bionic Woman, and of course The Office. The Office was so awesome. I missed that show so much over the summer. I also enjoyed: Weeds, catching up with Dexter.
Best Movie I saw: The first half hour of Death Proof was great until the DVD fucked up. The honors this week go to Hotel Chevalier, Wes Anderson’s short that ties into The Darjeeling Limited. It was beautiful in that way Wes Anderson always pulls off. I can’t wait until it comes out (Oct 12).
Best Book I read: Honestly, I didn’t read this week. Sad eh? It was a busy week. I do want to read this book about Russian prison tattoos. They don’t have it at the library though.
Best Music I heard: I listened to a lot of Led Zeppelin this week. I heard an interview with Robert Plant on an old podcast of Fresh Air that made me want to listen to them. Also the song used in Hotel Chevalier "Where Do You Go To My Lovely" by Peter Sarstedt is great (but aren’t all Wes Anderson soundtracks?)
Ah trivia. I am your bitch.
Tonight was trivia night down at Mother Egan’s. The normal crew was there plus one man who knows a lot about dead people, your host of The Graveside Service on KOOP, Mr. Harris. We were doing well. Really well. Then along came Buddy Fuckin’ Holly. The "theme round" this week was all about the bespectacled rock n’ roller. We got four answers out of a possible ten. I like to call that the "demoralizer." It’s that round where everything goes downhill and you find yourself in a hole that you have trouble clawing your way out of.
The next round was even worse. They call it the "Einstein Round." The questions are ridiculously hard. I can’t remember them all but one was "How many Hershey Kisses (+/- 5) are in a pound?" I mean really. That’s ridiculous. The answer by the way is 95. My team answered one stinking question right (which I gave the correct answer to). In fairness, Rachel also gave an answer that we didn’t go with that was correct and would’ve given us two correct. I think the most that any team got correct that round was 6. Even the team to beat, the so-called "6th Street Irregulars", only answered four right.
We closed the night strong, answering eight of ten correctly in the last two rounds. I think we ended up around 8th place which isn’t bad considering the hole we were in. Highlight of the night: Hearing Austin mayor Will Wynn say "Where my bitches at?" Next Tuesday the quest to be number one continues. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to study.
Two quick things:
- Natalie Portman will be nude in Wes Anderson’s short film Hotel Chevalier. That’s right. Nude. Hear that? That’s millions of dorks creaming their pants as we speak. This could knock Phoebe Cates off the top of the "naked on film" mountain. The short will be released for free on iTunes Wednesday.
- Meg White of the White Stripes may or may not have a leaked sex tape (NSFW). It looks an awful lot like her but it could be a fake. The White Stripes did, however, cancel tour dates due to Meg’s "anxiety." Could the anxiety be from knowing millions of people are watching her do the deed?
Dreams really do come true!
Why is it on the days I get something like two hours of sleep I am slammed at work? Why why WHY? My brain is in shutdown mode and things decide to break. Ok, back to work now.
People have stumbled upon this site in many interesting ways. If you search google right now for "hairless vagina," I’m eighth in the list! Sorry you didn’t find what you were looking for. No pre-pube vag here.
People have also been finding me via "bullwhipping women." I’m number 11 with a bullet there. What kind of place do you think I’m running here?
This last one I’m not so sure about: "challah the love story." Is this a Jewish love story involving bread? I hope to make it to number one on this one. I’ll settle for third for now.
Many times, for no reason whatsoever, television theme songs will pop into my head. Usually it’s something I’ve watched a lot or just saw but occasionally it’s something that I haven’t seen or thought about in years. Tonight it’s the theme song to 227. It’s been eons since Lester and Mary Jenkins have popped up on my radar. Those were the days when NBC absolutely ruled the comedy scene. Now I think they have something like four sitcoms on the whole schedule, 50% of which are best on the air (30 Rock and The Office for those cave dwellers out there). I miss sitcoms. Where are the Cheers and Wings? Gone are the days of Night Court and Newhart. Those were the days as Archie and Edith would say.
Death Race 2000 (1975): This is one of my favorite movies. I watched it when I was a kid and thought it was hilarious. I loved (and still do) watching people get hit by cars and run over. It’s a sick pleasure, I know.
The movie is set in the year 2000. The United States suffered an economic collapse in the 1970s. Mr. President pulls the country out of economic hell and creates the "Transcontinental Road Race" for the good of the country. The race being run in the movie is the 20th anniversary of the race. However, you don’t just win the race by coming in first. You also have to have the points. You amass points by running over pedestrians. Adults males are 20 points, male teens are 40 points, male infants and toddlers are 70 points. Women add 10 points. Anyone over 75 years old is 100 points.
The hero of the country is a masked driver named Frankenstein. He’s described thusly: "Frankenstein! Frankenstein the legend, Frankenstein the indestructible!
Sole survivor of the titanic pile-up of ‘95, only two-time winner of
the Transcontinental Road Race… Frankenstein! Ripped up, wiped out,
battered, shattered, creamed, and reamed… a dancer on the brink of
death… Frankenstein, who lost a leg in ‘98, an arm in ‘99! With half
a face and half a chest, and all the guts in the world, he’s back!" Not to mention he also has a hand grenade.
Frankenstein is opposed by four other drivers. The first is Calamity Jane driving a car that is designed to look like a bull. The second is Matilda the Hun, a Nazi driving my favorite car in the race (it was modeled on a Karman Ghia). The third is Nero the Hero played by Martin Kove. You may remember him as John Kreese, the evil Cobra Kai sensei from the Karate Kid movies. The fourth is loved by thousands and hated by millions, Machine Gun Joe Viterbo played by Sylvester Stallone. He’s got some of the best lines in the whole movie. It also seems as if he were preparing for his future role in Rambo (as you can see from the picture to the right). Pay close attention to the mouth. We’ve all seen that before.
The race is facing some trouble. There are rebels who want the race to be abolished and have planted a secret agent in the race. That secret agent is none other than Frankenstein’s navigator. Dum dum dum! Their plan is to kidnap Frankenstein and make Mr. President stop the race. Will they succeed? Who will win the race? And just who is Frankenstein? Watch the movie and find out.
"I’ve got a splitting headache"
Best TV show I saw: Weeds was great this week as usual. Of course I also loved Kid Nation. I also enjoyed: I’ve been watching a lot of the original Star Trek. I think I probably saw one or two episodes in my life to this point, but for some reason I’ve just gotten into them. I watched The Trouble with Tribbles last night. I like that it addresses the humor of Star Trek. Good stuff.
Best movie I saw: Death Race 2000. It’s one of the cult movies so there will be a write up soon. I also enjoyed: Superman: Doomsday. Fact: it’s the first Superman project rated PG-13. And Superman is implied to have "got it on" with Lois Lane. Nice.
Best Book I read: Still working on The Road. I like the book a lot, I just haven’t really sat down to read lately. Now that work has taken away our TV privileges like we were some 8 year old, I’ll probably have more time to read.
Best Music I heard: Peter, Bjorn and John’s Young Folks has been stuck in my head for days. It just won’t leave. I also enjoyed: I’ve been listening to a bit of Velvet Underground lately. If I had a cover band I’d do Stephanie Says and Pale Blue Eyes.
I’m watching the Superman: Doomsday
cartoon on DVD and was thinking about something. I wonder how much
monetary destruction a fight between a superhero and supervillain would
cause. It would have to be a crazy amount in the billions right? We’re
talking infrastructure, personal property, loss of life.
In just the scene on the left you’ve got a building collapsing, a destroyed helicopter, several cars, sidewalks, streets. I bet insurance wouldn’t cover that shit either. There’s got to be some superhero battle clause in there.
Did anyone watch this tonight? If you don’t know what it is, Kid Nation is a reality show (I know, I know) on CBS that puts forty kids aged 8 to 15 in a ghost town and has them attempt to create a society with no adults. The show has had quite a bit of controversy surrounding it. One mother, whose child was burned by cooking grease, filed a complaint saying there were "abusive acts to minors and possible violations of child labor laws." I think this is a bit harsh. It’s basically like a summer camp except it’s being filmed. The kids got paid $5000 for appearing and got to have one hell of an experience. Santa Fe officials found no violations by the way. Kids were allowed to leave whenever they wanted too. It’s not like they were forced to be there. Two of the mothers were on Ellen today and said that they were called every day by a crew member to update them on how their children were doing. They said they knew more about what was going on in their kid’s life when they were on the show than they did when the kids were at home.
It’s a really good show. The kids are divided into four districts each run by a council member. They then competed in a challenge (pumping water from pipes with these huge oil derrick things) to find out what job they would hold. There are four levels:
- Upper Class – No assigned jobs and they get a $1.00 a day salary.
- Merchants – run the shops in town. 50 cent a day salary.
- Cooks – take care of all food related processes. 25 cent a day salary.
- Laborers – haul water, clean latrines, etc. 10 cents a day salary.
So the Blue District is full of older kids are really seem like the team to beat in this challenge. They have an early lead but accidentally tap a Red District water pipe and fall just far enough behind to allow Red to win. Blue came in second so they will run the shops. Yellow came in third and Green brought up the rear. However since all four teams finished within an hour the whole community won a reward. The kids were faced with a choice. They could have an additional seven latrines OR they could have a television. Right away some were screaming for the TV. But cooler heads prevailed. Seven latrines were added to the one they had (one for 40 kids!) and all was well.
The stores opened up and the kids now have access to buy games, candy, root beer, and various other sundries. Several kids went straight for the candy. One bought a piece of dark chocolate the size of a shovel. They were like, well, kids in a candy store. My favorite camper, Sophia, spotted a bike on the wall. The cost was $3. Sophia was a green team member so she’s only getting 10 cents a day. How will she afford a bike? She goes out in the street with a jar and starts dancing. Kids come by and put a nickel in her jar. Soon she has the $3 she needed for the bike. She runs to the store and peddles out on her new bike.
A couple of kids are ready to go home. One is a council member, 10 year old Taylor (I think is her name) and one is 8 year old Jimmy. They both miss their parents. When I was 10 I couldn’t wait to get away from my mom and dad for a few days. These kids have been gone for two days and they are already crying. It is a stressful environment though. Anyway, it comes time for the council meeting and Sophia voices her concern about dirty dishes. The council members say they will work harder at correcting things and getting people off their "lazy butts." Then comes time to award the "Gold Star." This is literally a star made out of gold that is worth $20,000. Each week, the four council members will determine a gold star winner. This week it was my girl Sophia. Good job Sophia. I’m not clear if you can win multiple stars but here’s hoping you do Sophia. In addition to getting the money, the Star winner gets to make a phone call home. I’m sure later on that will mean more to the kids than the money.
I really enjoyed this show. I think it’s a really interesting concept and would’ve loved to have
been able to do this when I was a kid. It’s definitely staying on my
DVR.
